Kaya pa daw tumakbo ni Erap. Nice. Mister President, I have some tips for you about running.
Get yourself a pair of good running shoes. Never underestimate the importance of warm ups, otherwise the day after would be a complete disaster (no different from a night of sex without condoms or contraceptives).
Before running, drink lots of water. Tonic water, especially if mixed with vodka, is not counted. Breathe properly – shoulders lifted, upper chest expanded, and diaphragm nicely tucked in. This would be hard, since as an actor you’ve been trained to pant and grunt, and told that such skills are enough to win hordes of fans.
No English required. Actually, the ability to construct coherent statements are also useless, unless it is your habit to talk to yourself – it’s hard, believe me I’ve tried. But take note of useful words like Ped Xing. No, that’s not the name of your favorite Chinese crony, that’s where you cross, Mister President.
Find a good spot to jog. You might want to try Muntinlupa, Bicutan, or Tanay. Jog in place if you like, you might find that skill useful.
Also, try controlling your leering look. Maybe it’s age, or maybe it’s you, but it’s scary and makes you look suspicious – as if you have just robbed the people or that you’re about to commit some nasty sexual stunts.
If you are a beginner, you have to take it slow. Rein in your greed, este, your excitement. Oopss, that still didn’t come out right.
But who the hell cares? Nothing is right in this country anymore.
xfullman 